MEDIA RELEASE 11:00pm, Friday 6 October 2017
Update on Hagley Hobbler Serious Party 2017 Election Results
Hagley Hobbler Serious Party co-leader Iano Hodgie would like to remind everyone that in a few hours time the Electoral Commission will be releasing the final voting figures for this year’s general election. The big question is, will the Hagley Hobbler Serious Party now hold the balance of power? And, if we do, how should we exercise it?
Running?
Cycling?
Walking?
Or just sitting around chatting over a cup of tea?
MEDIA RELEASE 9:00am, Wednesday 6 September 2017
Update on Hagley Hobbler Serious Party 2017 Election Campaign Launch
When: Saturday, 16 September
Where: Geraldine Top Ten Holiday Park, 39 Hislop St, Geraldine.
Hagley Hobbler Serious Party co-leader Iano Hodgie would like to remind everyone about the range of post-campaign-launch attractions available in the Geraldine area:
Raise a quizzical eyebrow at the Giant Jersey, 10 Wilson St.
Slice open a blue vein at Talbot Forest Cheese, 76 Talbot St.
Grit your teeth and spin out with doughnuts on the Orari Back Road.
Grunt hello to Danny and scoff his super crispy Greasies at the Geraldine Fish Supply, 8 Wilson St.
Tight-lipped Danny at Geraldine Fish Supply. Delivering a seriously good fry-up.
Steel yourself to give a moments notice to the old bombs at the Geraldine Vintage Car and Machinery Museum, 178 Talbot Street
Trundel earnestly to Arundel. Then up through Peel Forest. Photograph the Big Totara. Sensible shoes essential.
Purse your lips and cuddle up to the woolly South Americans at Alpaca Walks, 188 Beeby Road, Geraldine.
‘What a seriously out-there po-faced line-up,’ says Iano.
MEDIA RELEASE 11:15am, Monday 28 August 2017
Hagley Hobbler Serious Party 2017 Election Campaign Launch
When: Saturday, 16 September
Where: Geraldine Top Ten Holiday Park, 39 Hislop St, Geraldine.
Hagley Hobbler Serious Party co-leader Iano Hodgie today officially announced the launch of the party’s 2017 election campaign. In recognition of the party’s longstanding connections with Canterbury and the South Island, the launch will take place in the picturesque South Canterbury town of Geraldine.
‘Some of the most serious people on the planet live in Canterbury,’ said Dr Hodgie, ‘It is therefore only fitting that our campaign to get across the five percent threshold in next month’s general election begins there.’
The programme for the campaign launch boasts an impressive array of speakers and performers.
On the Saturday afternoon, party co-leader Johno Egglestonio will deliver the opening three-hour keynote address. Entitled ‘Philosophy and the Politics of Disengagement in a Warming World’, it is expected to be an excoriating critique of the general public’s lack of concern over climate change issues. ‘The auditorium at the Geraldine Community Centre should be packed for this one,’ said Dr Hodgie.
Later in the afternoon, party co-leader Rego Grahamio is scheduled to talk about his recent trip to North Africa to study the origins of seriousness in Muslim politics. [NB Dr Grahamio calculates there is a 35 per cent probability that Allah exists, and a 15 per cent probability that he will appear in person to deliver his talk.]
Other scheduled events at the launch include song-writing legend Bob Dylan performing ‘All Along The Watchtower’ and ‘Jokerman’. He will also read some poetry (not necessarily his own).
Home Thoughts
I do not dream of Sussex downs
or quaint old England’s
quaint old towns—
I think of what may yet be seen
in Johnsonville or Geraldine.
– Denis Glover (1936)
